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And you'll be able to let them know what you need in order to feel comfortable. That way, you won't be burdened with wondering whether they know or suspect. SS: It's a good idea to be honest about it. JF: You are not ready to have sex until you can be truthful and vulnerable with your partner. So, I'd advise that you have the conversation about your experience beforehand. The first time is often an emotional experience - we can feel vulnerable afterwards. GE: I think it's important to be open and honest with someone you're sleeping with. Do I tell my partner it’s my first time having sex? Remember you can get pregnant even though you have your period. RB: Absolutely! And again, just because you have your period, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be protecting yourself against STIs and pregnancy.ĪL: Yes. Just remember to put a towel underneath you. Being on your period doesn't affect whether or not you can have sex. If you find that it hurts a lot, ask your gynecologist. SS: Many, but not all, report there's some pain the first time. Just use lots of lube for easy penetration and you'll be alright. GE: Having sex for the first may be more uncomfortable than it is painful. Does my partner have to orgasm for sex to count? To others it may include anal or oral sex. To some, having sex means that the penis was in the vagina. Let the experience be whatever it's going to be.ĪL: No, and if you don't know your body well, your orgasm may be elusive. Your first time, you're really only exploring. It's especially unlikely to happen if it's your first time. That being said, you should strive to have an orgasm! Your first time having sex can be uncomfortable as it's new and your vaginal muscles aren't used to penetration, so don't be shocked or disappointed if you don't have an orgasm - you are totally normal! Many young experience premature ejaculation (early orgasm), particularly if they are newly sexually active themselves. It can last from less than a minute to several minutes. But if for any reason you don't feel comfortable with deeper penetration, just tell them. So once you've taken them a few inches inside you, there's usually not much problem with deeper penetration. SS: The only part of your vagina that offers any real resistance to penetration is the outermost portion. At the very least, you should make sure wearing a condom - both for contraception and for disease prevention. SS: It's a great idea to see your gynecologist before having sex for the first time, so you can discuss all your birth control options.
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Your choice of birth control is a very personal choice and it is important that you talk to a medical practitioner about what type of birth control is best for you. JF: Always have protection and always be comfortable enough to make sure you have a frank discussion about protection before you make a decision to have sex with someone.
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If you're not in a monogamous, stable relationship and both of you have not been screened for STIs, you should use condoms whether or not you're on an alternative form of birth control. GE: It's certainly recommended, but condoms are 98% effective if used correctly. Should I be on birth control when I have penetrative sex for the first time? Remember if you're using latex condoms, you only want to use water-based lube. However, adding lubrication like Sustain will make the in-and-out more pleasurable. While there may be more friction and discomfort with using a condom, it's important to protect yourself and safety comes first.ĪL: A lubricated latex condom can help ease any possible discomfort. RB: Perhaps, but you always should protect yourself against sexually transmitted infections. Remember that even if you're on the pill or have an IUD, this does not protect from STIs. Be sure the condom you use is lubricated and use some extra lube if possible. Will penetrative sex hurt less if I don't use a condom? The most important thing about your first experience is that you are sober - you are clearly making a positive choice - and that you feel safe and close with the person you are choosing. Only you can determine with the help of a loving partner what feels most connected and pleasurable. There is no "best" position for everyone. JF: Experiment openly with your partner to see what feels best.